Update Time

Alright so it has been 19 weeks since first discovering my pregnancy and as you can see it definitely shows.  I have been thinking about my comeback when the baby gets here and I am ready to divulge; I am going to do cross-fit.  It is a whole body workout that makes you strong as an ox rather than just running on the treadmill all the time.  My arms are flabby and my thighs can start things on fire when I walk briskly.  I know that these are the things that I have to work on when this is finished.  It was something that I needed to work on before I got pregnant.  It is about this point in every pregnancy that I have had when I start to feel the workout blues.  I can't go to the gym and really get out my frustrations so I am reduced to just thinking about it.  I am really happy to be thinner for this one, it has made such a difference.  I can breath easier, I can move around easier and overall I just feel better than previous times.  Of course any time that a 300 pound person adds more weight to their frame just equals bad news.  I have gained about 7 pounds so far and I hope that I can keep my weight to about 15 pounds gained.  I would prefer to not gain any but it took a little getting used to not eating whatever I wanted just because I was pregnant.  Old habits die hard right?  I am counting my calories and trying to avoid the really bad stuff like ice cream; my nemesis.  Currently all I can think about now is snow cones.  I cannot wait to dive head first into them but I have to wait until the summer time.  Oh one thing at a time.  Well I just wanted to keep an update to let you know that I haven't forgotten about things.  Next year I will be turning 30 years old and WANT to spend the next decade without being fat.  That means when the baby is born in September, I have 12 months to lose 65 pounds.  I can totally do it and in fact I am looking forward to the challenge.  Yippee

Things are finally starting to look up

The last twelve weeks have really been a challenge for me.  I have been so sick and the thought of working out just didn't work out.  Now that I am 14 weeks, the sickness has gone down quite a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I still have moments at work when I will be having a conversation with the toilet bowl.  The other day I went to work out and thought that I wanted to go jogging.  I got on the treadmill and felt really good actually.  I wasn't running that fast and so I increased my incline.  I pushed it a tad too hard because immediately afterward I thought I was going to die.  I realize that during this pregnancy, it is important to be active, but I have to take it easy.  I still don't want to gain any weight and hopefully I won't but I do have to watch everything I do.  Ugg only 26 more weeks to go.

MMMMonday

Tomorrow is a new week and I have done better than last week.  I have re-logged onto myfitnesspal to log my food intake and now I am focusing my energy on why my arms look so doughy.  This pregnancy has made me really sick and because of that I have noticed that because of my lack of activity, my chubbiness feeling has returned.  While the weight has essentially stayed the same, I feel gross.  My skin isn't as tight on my body and I have seen a loss of muscle mass.  I am starting my last set of nights for the month and I am happy for that.  However, I have to work tomorrow night until Friday morning.  It will be a challenge to go but I am setting my goal for 3 days this week.  I am hoping that my stomach will handle the queasy and let it go.  Ugg I hate being sick.

Don't forget me old friends

Ok so I have been gone for what seems like forever.  I am not going to make up an excuse as to why I haven’t posted.  Instead I am going to speak the absolute truth to anyone who wants to listen; mostly to myself.  I haven’t been trying.  When I first started working out in 2010 I was alive.  I felt alive and my weight loss was showing my attitude and motivation.  I got to the point of 75 pounds lost and somewhere from point A to point B I got lost.  Last summer was the first summer where I didn’t feel like a total cow and so I let my guard down a little bit.  I would look in the mirror and smile at myself.  We were active during the summer, but I wasn’t doing really heavy workouts. 

Then in August we decided to try for another baby.  That decision somewhere in my brain made me once again let my guard down.  I didn’t want to be working out super hard while I was pregnant.  This of course is a silly notion; I can work out the whole time I am pregnant.  Anyway, in October I had attempted and succeeded in running 7 miles.  When I got home from running, I had started a miscarriage.  I was worried that my long jogging was the cause.  That was another notch down on the motivation ladder. Now it was November and I was pouting about losing the baby and I was pouting about my lack of weight loss.  I had started the downward spiral of feeling bad for myself. 

December was the holiday season and let’s be honest; I wasn’t at all keeping myself from any treat offered.  By the time the New Year had started I simply wasn’t doing anything.  I was going to the gym maybe once a week and I wasn’t logging my food or writing in my blog.  I had completely resorted back to old habits.  I had a bad attitude and was playing the poor me card too many times.  I don’t know how a person can go from losing 75 pounds to just stopping altogether?  Adam approached me yesterday and asked why?  I didn’t have an answer for him.  In my mind I was playing the same old games until I stopped myself and said I would try.

 I entered my calories on my food log yesterday and I plan on doing it again today.  I have updated my blog to let you know where the crap I have been and today I am going to work out.  I haven’t gained any extra weight but that isn’t really a good thing is it?  I still have a good 55 pounds to lose before my body isn’t considered obese anymore.  Yes I am still considered obese.  I am currently 9 weeks pregnant but that shouldn’t stop me from focusing on me once and a while.  I am hoping to not gain any weight during this pregnancy so I can start off losing weight right.  I feel better writing this; I really do.  I am going to make an effort for myself once again.  I am worth it dammit.    

It wasn't too bad

Well after an evaluation of my work week, I have to move my long running day to Wednesday which is tomorrow.  I have worked out on Monday and today so I think that it will be a good run.  Aside from the fact that it will take me over an hour to complete and I would've just gotten home from working a 12 hour shift.  Yeah no it should be great.  Today I took it easy and rode the bike for 50 minutes.  It was a good sweat and I went home feeling satisfied with my progress.  I looked in the mirror today and I didn't like what I saw; thunder thighs.  Granted, I have had thunder thighs since the beginning of time it feels like but today they looked especially bad.  I still have so much progress to go with my body and some days it feels like it will be never ending or that I won't reach it at all.  I know that I will if I stay strong, but sometimes I am simply not.  I think training for this half marathon will be a good choice for me to get back on the wagon.  I feel better already.  Geez Pat, what is the matter?  I don't have a good enough answer but I do know that I will take myself one day at a time.  I can't solve all my problems with one workout.

Yesterday was pretty awesome

Yesterday was my long day of jogging and that meant 5.5 miles to do.  The gym closes at 7pm on Saturday  and so I knew that I needed to get in my workout but after Adam ran 11 miles it was getting later in the afternoon and I wanted to get out of the house.  After we got home from our errands it was 4pm and I was getting to the point where I didn't want to go workout.  Adam was there to push me in the right direction and after some grumbling I went.  It was slowing down at the gym and so there were a lot of machines open.  I started to jog and actually it was great.  I was hoping to be under a 12 minute mile.  Usually I run at about a 5 on the treadmill during long jogs because I need to conserve my energy; I wanted to challenge myself though.  I didn't want to push too hard so I set the machine at a 5.2.  I know it doesn't seem like much but when you run for an hour, any speed makes a difference.  I was going along pretty well and before I knew it, I only had a 1.5 left to go.  Then I hit a brick wall.  Oh man that last 18 minutes was brutal.  I wanted to stop so bad but I kept seeing my number dwindle on my remaining time and I knew that I could finish despite my pain.  I kicked my speed up at the very end to finish strong and after 65 minutes I could stand proud knowing that 5.5 miles was in the bag.  Yes it was difficult at the very end and the old Patty would've given up in the heartbeat the second things got hard.  I probably would've given up before 4 miles even got there.  I was so happy to accomplish that task.  I can honestly do anything that I want to do.  The only thing standing in my way is my brain.  It's hard but I am getting better day by day.  I am ready for next weeks challenge.  Hoorah

Hello everyone

I woke up today so tired. It was one of those mornings where I immediately wanted to fall asleep on the couch. Adam was up and ready to go running and to be honest I wasn't that thrilled about it. I however wasn't going to be lazy and not go. I got up knowing I was only needing to run 1.5 miles and so my motivation began to build. It was a great day of jogging. I was able to run faster and as the time was approaching for me to be done I wanted to be under 16 minutes for my time. I totally made it under goal with 4 seconds to spare. Adam was running a 3 miler so I just kept going until he was done. I ran 2 miles total and then lifted to get rid of these granny arms. I feel great today. I have to work the night shift today and so I'm a tad bummed out but oh well it's life. If I didn't have a job I would have nothing so I have to be grateful. I run a 5.5 mile run this weekend and I'm going to try and make it under an hour. Good luck to me.